THE STORY BEHIND
COSMIC HUG

My first memory of feeling truly alone, was when I was five or six years old.  I was in kindergarden, and I was being picked on by my peers.  The constant jokes became harder and harder for me to handle. 

As life dragged on, I found myself surrounded by people, but more and more I was feeling lonely.  I thought that I must be imagining it because, by most standards, I had no reason to feel alone.  It wasn't until I was older that I realized I'd been battling depression since childhood.    

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Then there was the issue of religion.  I was raised in a Christian home that taught me about God from a young age.  I see now, as an adult who has been healing, that my family was only repeating the things they'd been raised with; as we all do.  In modern therapy & behaviour studies, they call this learned behaviour.  From a young age, I asked questions about Adam, Eve, the garden, the angels and the dinosaurs.  I wanted to know more about who the angels were, where did the dinosaurs exist in the timeline, can these things be found in our history; and to understand what made Jesus so different.   When I would ask questions like this, I would be told the answers and not encouraged to follow those lines of questions.  It was like religion was a math problem and my parents were only interested in giving me the answers and not showing their work. 

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Eventually, hurting humans, tend to hurt other humans.  So when the people around me started to hurt me, put me down or neglect me, I found myself losing all the beliefs I'd been raised with.  I remember the day I lost faith in the fact that there was a god and that was the day I remember feeling like I couldn't rely on anyone, EVER.

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This led to a time of searching.   I wanted to feel respected and valued, so I left everything I was raised with;  I left all the things I was taught to believe I needed and I started looking for a new place, where I could feel valued and accepted.  I eventually learned that everything my parents had taught me, held the truth for them, but it didn't mean that was THE truth; I just needed to learn how to see things through a different lens. (Perception Filters - Coming Soon)

 

By the time I was diagnosed and treated, my depression had taken root in my life and disguised itself as part of my character.  I was struggling to feel any kind of happiness or hope.  I had days where I was finding it hard to get up, or even to have a desire to live.   Due to human behaviour and my loss of a purpose or place, I had lost the belief that anyone truly cared and I had resigned myself to believing that I was worthless and disposable. 

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As I started to heal, with the help of healthy friendships, proper medications, good doctors, and finding my spirituality, I started to find a reason to live again.  I began to rediscover my purpose, starting with finding and believing in my value & worth.

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I realized that humans have been, and always will be, fundamentally flawed.  Humans are programmed, over the course of history, to be selfish & proud; and to forget our mistakes but hold onto our grudges;  This makes us terrible companions.  Luckily, the Creator of the Universe IS NOT human.   Even when the Creator came to earth in human form, They didn't display dominance, pursuits of power, or recognition; instead, Creator proved that, even in Human form, all They desire, is to show us that we're valuable and Loved.  

 

This is how the COSMIC HUG was born.  

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I read a Bible verse that explained that the Creator of the Universe called me Child, and promised to never leave me or turn Their back on me; YAWEH told his followers that 'GOD IS LOVE'.  This was and is where I get my comfort from.  

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When ALL else fails; when people hurt me; when I'm sick and broken;

the One who hung the stars, Holds me.

Like a good parent loves their child, So the Creator of all things,  Loves ME. 

 

And CREATOR LOVES YOU too.