In 2023, One of my friends shared her journey with infertility, pregnancy & loss.  
She had spent 3 years attempting to get pregnant with their second child and riding the rollercoaster of emotions that would overwhelm her every time her hopes were dashed.  In 2019, they received the news that they'd been hoping for, a pregnancy.   At her 9 week ultrasound, she could feel that something wasn't right, even though she was told "everything's ok"; but after she pushed for more tests, she was told that she was carrying twins, but she'd lost one of the babies.  This revelation was bitter sweet and she found herself battling an internal tug-o-war; excited that she was carrying a healthy baby and devastated over loosing another at 8.5weeks.  

Her & her husband later decided to call this little soul Oscar.

A few weeks later she started to notice some minor bleeding, but upon check up, she was told everything was fine & "not to worry"; but she found no comfort in this since she still felt that something wasn't right.  During a 13-17 week check-up, she was informed that her cervix was shortening and preparing for labor; she immediately asked to speak to a OB'GYN regarding her situation.   The response was less than helpful, "OB's don't get involved until the fetus is 24 weeks"; she was never offered alternative options, other than the ER "in case of emergency".  At this point, Mom was frustrated; she wanted to make an informed choice, for the safety of her child, but NONE of the healthcare professionals she'd seen, were taking the time to walk her through her practical options (including a viable option to stitch the cervix).  As the bleeding persists, she continues to visit the hospital on multiple occasions over the next few weeks.  Eventually, after aprox. 15 different blood draws, over the course of many weeks, the hospital diagnoses her with a chronic flu.  
It was a Thursday when she visits the ER for dehydration & blood tests; after a IV of fluids, she's given the 'All clear' and sent home.  
Friday, she wakes with major cramping & discomfort which prompts her to call her midwife, who suggests she 'take some Tylenol'.   When she wakes on Saturday in extreme pain & what she believes are contractions, she contacts her midwifes office and reaches the student.    After a brief conversation, the student midwife responded in a manner that was less than helpful; the response was condescending, filled with gaslighting and brushoffs, and finally told to just "take a Tylenol".   The discomfort was unrelenting & gradually getting worse, so she went to the ER, AGAIN.
 Keep in mind, mom was ALONE in the ER while all this was happening.  
The ER doctor comes to her room, takes blood & urine, and completes a bedside ultrasound.  The doctor advises her that the 'baby looks fine', and due to the blood in the urine, it must be a Urinary Tract Infection; the doctor never performs an internal check or any other investigations.  In fact, mom remembers feeling rushed out of the room, so they could move onto other patients.
On her way home, she attempts to pick up groceries & run errands, but she feels the insatiable urge to pee.  She would usually, never think twice, about using public bathrooms, but today, the extreme discomfort caused her to wait until she got home, before using the bathroom.  She gets home around 2pm and rushes to the bathroom with a bursting bladder.  

It's at this time that she delivers her stillborn daughter, Lily.   

She called out for her husband to call 911 for help.  When her husband see's what has happened, he worries that Mom couldn't survive the amount of blood loss.   While they wait for paramedics, her husband attempts to assist her while she sits, in her panic, in the washroom. It's during this time, Mom calls some other family to pick up their 4 year old; who seems excited to meet the baby, this sweet young sibling doesn't understand what is transpiring.   Upon arriving at the hospital, Mom & Dad were left waiting in the hallway; mom, strapped to a gurney, still bleeding & attached to Lily; and dad, holding stillborn Lily.   Mom shared that their wait in that hallway felt like an eternity, all the while, mom could feel herself spiraling into anxiety, shame, guilt, panic, shock & grief.   The wait in the hall was almost 30min, and once they received a room, they had to wait to be seen by a doctor.   The doctor that eventually arrives, has let them down in the past & seems woefully unprepared this time as well; he claims to have her file, but has no record of her blood type, in spite of the many blood test she'd had taken over the last few months.  After taking more blood, the doctor sends in a nurse to advise the parents that mom will Not need a blood transfusion; this nurse was also able to provide the Vital information that mom had experienced a placental abruption, causing the placenta to detach & tare.   The doctor, eventually, returns and informed the parents that they had just experienced a miscarriage, but that mom is fine & all can return home;  at this time, mom has to inform the doctor that she still hasn't passed the placenta, to which the doctor seemed surprised. (Keep in mind, twin Oscar's fetus, will have be attached &/or reabsorbed into the placenta) ....And then they were left to wait, again.   During this painful & emotional waiting period, a new/different nurse arrives to speak with the parents.  

This nurse, is described by the parents, as a an 'angel in disguise' & a 'light worker', because she was the one positive contact in a sea of grief, loss & betrayal.  
Sadly, this nurse only arrived 5hrs after the miscarriage had taken place; but this anonymous nurse, made a difference in the midst of chaos and pain, when all others just seemed to add to the trauma.  She sat and listened to the parents as they grieved, she offered emotional support, reassurance, assistance, resources, she walked them through their 'next steps'.  This anonymous nurse also brought a hat & blanket for Lily; she wrapped Lily up and allowed Mom to hold her for the first time.  She also offered to take photos, hand & foot prints from Lily; as well as bringing a teddy bear for the parents; so they don't have to leave the hospital with empty arms.  

This nurse is an example of someone who actively chooses to MakeWaves, by doing good, showing love, and changing lives.  

When the doctor finally re-attends to deal with the placenta still inside mom, there is a concern of excessive bleeding.  The doctor sends mom into the bathroom with two new nurses, to see if they can expel the placenta.  When mom was able to pass the placenta, she was considering the fact that Oscar was absorbed into the placenta; but before mom could ask for Oscars remains to be recognized, the nurses Callously disposed of placenta(s) by flushing it, while she watched.  This was a final straw for Mom; it caused her to retreat further into a place of shock & trauma.   To make matters worse, the nurses seemed oblivious to the pain they had just caused.   Mom returned to her room where she was required to decide how Lily's body would now be handled.   After this, the doctor decided to admit mom into the hospital for the night, until she can have a final ultrasound in the morning. This left the grieving Dad to be responsible for notifying their family & child that they had lost their baby.    
After a sleepless night & morning ultrasound, they were given the final 'all clear' to go home.   The following days & weeks are filled with grief, anxiety, insomnia & other trauma responses; for all the family members involved, including their 4yr old.  With some supports, coping mechanisms and time, mom & dad began to feel ready to try again. 

This time, mom was resolved to protect her future fetus', from the lazy & thoughtless heath care providers.  
In 2021, they found out that they are expecting again;  They had high hopes for this Rainbow Baby.

During this unlikely pregnancy, mom continues to battle anxiety and PTSD from their most recent loss'.  She is confident that her NEW midwife will support her and advocate on her behalf; and this is proven when her pregnancy starts to worry her.  On multiple occasions, the new midwife stepped up to advocate for proper care for mom & baby.  This is important for easing moms anxiety and getting her into her final months of pregnancy; when mom has a fall on some ice. When she attends the ER, she is seen by an OBGYN who seems resistant to taking any action other than blood tests; even pushing back when mom asked for an ultrasound.  While the OBGYN spoke to mom in a way that was exasperated & irritated, making her feel like a nuisance; the Mid wife consistently & passionately advocated that mom be given EVERYTHING she asks for; all Mom was thinking is that she "will NOT lose another child to his hospital!!"  
They, finally,  agree to an ultrasound, first thing the next morning and the midwife agreed to care for mom & baby until then.  
The next day, their Baby Boy,  rainbow baby Link, was born through emergency c-section.   After it was all done, mom & dad were informed that mom had suffered another placental abruption as a result of her fall.  If it weren't for the reliable &  empathetic midwife, mom & baby may have repeated their worst fears.  
Link exists today, because of one or two small choices; those choices were made with intention to love, support, listen, show compassion, and advocate for a little soul who couldn't speak for themselves and the mother who carried it.  

This is how worlds are changed.
Small choices, made for good, protecting each other, protecting life.....
....These will ALWAYS accomplish more & maybe even outweigh, a thousand bad choices made by others.

Celebrate Life, Remember our Lost Treasures.